Tri-ing my best: Ironman by 40

I was weirdly calm going into this race. When I compare on my mindset for this along side my Half Ironman, it is so different. I think that part of that comes from the aspects of Triathlon that feel out of my control (aka the bike having a flat, etc). With running, it feels like it is all on me. Just me and the legs and mind and body that I trained to prepare for this moment. When we got to Pittsburgh on Saturday I really couldn’t believe how amazing the site of our hotel was. I knew it was close to the finish. But I didnt realize that the corals for the start were literally on the street next to the race. I woke up at 5, did all the usual things. I ended up going to the bathroom twice and that actually made me nervous that my stomach was not going to cooperate for the day. But after I second time it felt fine so that was good. We met Connie and Mark in the lobby at 6:45. We walked down to the corals and said our goodbyes. They were wandering down the road further to see me off. My cor...

Reading back on that last post, I want to tell you that all is better and I am 100% back to crushing life in the best way. I am in a different place. Not where I used to be when I had this intense focus and drive to get every single training session in and then some. I am trying to figure out where I am right now mentally, which is why I am finding myself writing this post. In my last post I talked about massive projects with huge stakes. Well, the project launched on Monday. The last 3 months have been pretty nutty, esp since I started training also for the Pittsburgh marathon on January 1. The project being live is indeed a huge relief and overall it has been a success. This next month feels like it will be trying to get back to a normalcy at work. Catch up or progress things that paused during March when Five9 took all our team's energy. So as I sit here the first weekend post launch, I have a MASSIVE list of things to do. But I do feel like I can accomplish them. I will just ne...

It has been 8 days since I recognized that I was exhibiting the physical and mental signs of burnout. As I look back now it is clear it has been building. I haven’t been sleeping well, I haven’t been able to focus, I have had minimal to no ability to take action on anything I need to do other than go through the motions. I think the impending winter and shorter days kicked it to a new level and so I found myself in this place less than 2 weeks after the time change, mourning the loss of that extra hour of daylight. Another catalyst was  two runs in a row with hamstring pain. I have been dealing with hamstring pain in some way since July. I just kept going. After my race I sought out PT and have been going since early October. And I was mostly running pain free. But two runs in a row with pain resulted in me in tears of frustration at my inability to do this thing I “needed” to do. When I told my PT about this, and mentioned a lot of stress at work, she said our stress shows ...

Okay so every single detail is what I am aiming to capture. This post is for me to capture as much as I can. I am now one week past Michigan 70.3 and I am ready to sign up for another. Friday morning we left (Pam, Shane and me) and headed to Frankfort. Pam is 6 months pregnant and we didn't even get to Lansing before she had to use the bathroom haha. It made me laugh so hard. We made the drive up with a few more stops, lots of laughs, and just all the best feelings. We got into Frankfort a bit before 2p and I went to sign in. Of course there was ALL THE MERCH for Ironman. I bought it all haha. In reality I grabbed a sweatshirt (it was a Finisher sweatshirt and of course it made me very nervous to buy this before the race. But I didn't know I they would have them after - and they didn't, so I am glad I got it when I did). I also got a long sleeve shirt, microfiber towel with all the participant names on it, a hat, and a coffee mug. The gear was Lululemon so it was not cheap ...

 Um, so where did I leave off? Remember how I said my run just felt hard and I thought it was just the let down of a post race feeling? Nope. COVID. So that explained a lot. It was a very mild case overall. Stuffy nose, one terrible morning of coughing, and otherwise nothing much (other than that terrible run).  Just after my isolation period ended, I had Tri Goddess Tri on the calendar. I went into the race after basically two weeks of not working out and zero expectations. I signed up for it truly because I wanted the jersey, and so I reminded myself of that as I prepared that day. I was very happy with the outcome of the race. This was the first race I have done twice and so I could compare last year to this year and see progress. 2021: Swim 24:05 / T1 2:41 / Bike 38:04 / T2 1:02 / Run 28:29 2022: Swim 19:27 / T1 1:51 / Bike 24:03 / T2 wasn't recorded / Run 30:52 The improvement on the swim and bike really made my day. The run wasn't my best but thats okay. Shaved 8 minutes...

After my Olympic Distance tri this past weekend, I was on Cloud 9. For a couple of days. Its been awhile since I had that feeling though that sometimes comes a few days after a race. That feeling of moving slow towards getting back going again. That (dare I say) lack of motivation. The itching feeling of a lack of consistency after recovering for a couple of days. For me, that is all being compounded by a work trip, and some killer allergies that just have taken me out of my rhythm.  I am working towards giving myself space with it. I think an aspect of this also is that after feeling what I gave on Sunday, and what it took out of me, part of me is doubting if I can do the 70.3 Or rather, do it well (by my own definition of well). How can I finish it feeling strong and like I emptied the tank, when I just did that and it was only half the distance? I can tell myself logically that I won't be going as hard since it will be longer. But I don't think I am yet at a place mentally t...

Good morning mama, I’m not sure how it’s been eight years that we’ve been going on this world without you, but really it’s just been without you physically. You’ve been here with us every single day since we said goodbye eight years ago.    Every time that I see a cardinal out when I’m riding my bike, I see you. I know you are with me when I’m running along with my music on shuffle and the right song comes on at the right moment.  You’re with me when I sit quietly with my coffee in the morning and then pet the dogs. You’re with me when I feel overwhelmed and I make a list, and am reminded of your work ethic.  I see you as I watch Eileen raise her kiddos and she does the little things that you did with homemade cakes and fun birthday parties.  I see you when I talk to Pam on FaceTime and we drink our coffee together. While I’m looking at her face, I see you looking back at me.  I feel you every time I go home and I walk through our house that we spent so man...