Milestones - LONG POST, all words, just one picture :-)

 Since I last wrote 2 pretty big milestones have happened, and I want to capture some of the feelings around those events.

My first outdoor bike ride.

I don't event really know where to start with this, because once I finally got riding, IT WAS AWESOME. I loved it. LOVED IT just like I LOVE running outside. Its amazing what fresh air and actually moving (and not running/riding in place) can do for ya hahaha. I rode with Marti and Mary, and for the majority of the ride we cruised a bit, around 11.5 MPH. They were not on road bikes, so it was a lot more work for them than it was for me haha. As we approached just over a mile left I let them know I was going to see what the bike could do and I would meet them back at the lot. I started cruising and got to around 15 mph and it just felt awesome. Interesting to see that 15 mph felt like a good, sustainable, yet challenging pace, when on my Peloton that is usually around 17 mph. I wonder if this is where not being clipped in comes into play because I am not as efficient as I am on my Peloton. Definitely something to consider as I get more comfortable on the bike.

So, the hard part. You may notice I said once I finally got riding...well...here's how that went down. We decided we would leave our houses at 9:30 and meet at the trail. Of course I was overly excited. I got changed, and I got my bike in the car, and I ended up leaving a bit early. Marti and Mary had some trouble with their bike rack so they left late, which meant I sat waiting for awhile at the trail. This was totally fine, didn't mind it. While sitting there I thought maybe I should put my bike together but I knew I had a bit before they arrived so I didn't. When I thought they would be getting close I get out to put my bike together...and I left my wheel at home. I have to take off my front wheel to load my bike in my car, and so I loaded the frame and attached back tire but forgot the front one. I was so irritated. So I called them to explain and said I was going to get it, that they could start without me, etc. I drove home and the thoughts going through my head were devastating. I was riddled with doubt and so mad at myself. I thought things like "Who do you think you are trying to be a triathlete and a real cyclist riding outside, yet you cannot even bring your whole bike. What a joke." And so I got home, I grabbed my wheel and I turned around and headed back. More tears. More frustration. When I got back Mary and Marti had waited, and I saw Mary wearing her helmet and I realized I had forgotten my helmet. I get out of the car and apologized and I just lost it again. I was so upset. I did not go back for my helmet. Marti gave me a hug and said its okay and we got my bike put together and got moving, and then it was magical. 

Heres the thing...I do know that many people struggle with negative self talk on a regular basis. I am lucky that is not the case for me. I don't remember ever having a dialogue like that with myself before. And so it scared me that those thoughts came. And so I have been trying to figure out why they came so easily and I am settling on it being just my brains reaction to me truly pushing my boundaries for the first time in awhile. Riding outside was something that I had built up in my head with lots of anticipation, and I also knew it was a VITAL step to becoming a triathlete and achieving my goals. And so when I felt like I had failed from the start, my brain reacted that way to try and protect itself by shutting it down and saying you cannot do this. But I did push past, and I did do it, and I will do it. And that is where growth happens. 

I am. I can. I will. I do.

SO! After the ride I had planned to do a run. And so I set out on my 30 minute run, and I have a Peloton outdoor class playing my ear. I had my favorite running coach, Becs, chatting about form and the upcoming intervals planned. While I have done a brick workout from my Peloton to tread, this was obviously my first Brick workout (running after biking) outside, and I couldn't believe how weird it felt. I felt like I was moving SO SLOW. After going 15 MPH on a bike, any running speed that I can do is going to feel slow, but I just wasn't prepared for how slow it felt. And it blew my mind when I looked at my watch and I saw I was running at around 9:30 MPH pace. This is FAST for me. But it felt good, and easy, and so I kept going. About 2 miles in I realized I could potentially get my sub 30 5k. I didn't take off and change my speed dramatically to try and get it, and I told myself I would stay the course and if it happened it happened, and so I did. I pushed in the intervals and slowed a bit during the rests. And as I kept going I knew it would happen. And I crossed the invisible finish line at 29:09. I had 51 seconds to spare. 

So, to say that last Sunday (April 25) was an emotional day...that doesn't even start to capture it. To have the incredible highs of being so excited to ride, to the devastating lows of self doubt, back to the feeling of soaring on my bike, and to then accomplish that goal...it was just...amazing. Those types of experiences are why I do this. Because in those moments it may be hard and devastating, but I will always come out the other side stronger and better than I was before. And isn't that what life is about? Making ourselves a better person and then in turn helping others find that joy? So :) Yea, it was awesome.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Little update: 2 weeks until race day

Image
 I am two weeks out from my triathlon and to say I am getting excited is an understatement.  Today I had a 70 min ride and 20 min run on the schedule, and I was supposed to do it at race pace. This was my third time on my bike and it went really smooth. I was able to go faster than I have yet on the bike, getting up towards 18 mph at times. It just felt awesome to move that fast, I felt like I was flying.  After the ride I headed right out on the run and I still cannot get over how weird it feels to run after riding. Mainly that whole feeling of running through molasses. Because I found myself yet again just crushing the pace (for me) and feeling really awesome. I finished 2 miles in 17 min 25 seconds. This blows my mind. When I was running previously I would have be thrilled for a 10 minute mile. I 100% know that it is strength training and cycling that has helped my running tremendously. The turn over of the pedals when riding really feels like it helped my running, bec...
Read more

Pelofondo and Challenges

Image
After a few weeks of not writing, I have accumulated a few things to write about.  First and foremost, Pelofondo. Last Sunday was my fundraiser ride. In the month leading up to it I did a fundraiser for Relay for Life, and was overwhelmed at the support. We raised over $1,100. Yea. Crazy.  I structured the fundraiser in a way that offered "Sponsorships" for different donation amounts. Different sponsorship amounts would get you different benefits. For example, an Ironman Level ($75) sponsorship would get you baked goods of your choice, and I would lip-sync a song of your choosing via FB live. Every hour at the top of the hour (starting at 11a and finished just before 3p) I would go live and do an update of # of miles rode, sing a few songs, and talk about the people that donated. All of this was on the seven year anniversary of mom's passing and in her memory. In total I rode 62 miles in 3 hours 54 minutes.  Other fun stuff has happened since I last wrote too :) I have of...
Read more

My first triathlon: Island Lake Tri & what's happened since then

Image
I've had a draft of this post partially written since the day after the race. Its fair to say I am overthinking it. Part of me wants to capture the perfect words for my first ever triathlon. But I don't know what those are. On September 7th I took my first real steps towards this goal, and in just a touch under 9 months I did the dang thing. I go back and forth between celebrating this accomplishment and reminding myself that this is just the first step towards my ultimate goal of 70.3.  So, to get down to it. Friday afternoon Pam arrived and we pretty much immediately got in the car to head to the race site. Once we arrived we waited in line to get my packet, which was a neat backpack with all my stuff in it, and then hung around waiting for Triathlon 101.  We stayed for about 45 minutes of it and then I was feeling a bit of a time crunch and also felt like at the pace they were going through things we would be there all night, so we left and headed back to Jackson to go to t...
Read more